Disappointment!

I'm so disappointed in myself. Remember I wrote a post last Tuesday that I did not exercise over the weekend....Well I have not exercise all of last week except for Saturday. I knew I had to. I should have...I wanted to go but didn't. There are no excuses. I just didn't and that's why I am so mad at myself. I just couldn't get myself going last week. 

On Saturday morning, I laid in bed and just thought about how motivated I was the week before. I thought about how I was already failing. Sure it was only a week but it is so easy to jump off a routine but so hard to jump right back into it. So I got up, brushed my teeth, got my gym cloths on, grabbed my water bottle and Ipod and I was out the door at 6:45am. Started up the van and off I was to the gym. I didn't even give myself time to even think about it because I knew I would surely come up with an excuse.

At the gym, I bumped into someone I normally see there. She commented on how she has not seen me "in awhile". She made it seem as if I haven't come in weeks. I felt like defending myself. I found myself looking for an excuse. But in all honesty, I only missed a week. So I told her and she was all like "oh, you shouldn't do that". Inside I agreed with her. I knew she was right. But I felt like I was being scolded or something like I was a little girl and I wanted to tell this woman off. She continued on to encourage me and then I felt bad. Here I was trying to be mad at this woman when I should be mad at myself for being so damn lazy. For not pushing myself to do what I set out to do. To look away from what I PROMISE MYSELF. This woman knew what she was talking about. She has lost 70 lbs so shes been through it all. After speaking to her it felt good. I almost felt like I was kicked in the butt because I got on that elliptical trainer and I swore I was never going to do this again. 

As you know, today would be my weigh in day but I'm not going to do it. I don't want to disappoint myself further and so, I will wait til next week to weigh in. Next time I try to do the same thing and not go to the gym, I will remember how lazy and sluggish I felt and the let down I felt.

No more!